HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!
January 1 has always been my favorite day of the year. It has always represented a clean slate - a new start - new opportunities.
But this year things are a little murky, well not exactly murky but less straight forward. I have discovered that recovery from this surgery involves more pain than I had expected. I have learned that I do not feel very motivated when I am in pain. My days are not filled with exciting thoughts of refining plans or goals or new resolutions. Instead I find them filled with a lot of light reading and mindless movies just trying to hold on. I am a little disappointed in myself and have become even more impressed with people who live with chronic pain and still remain productive and cheerful. I hope I can soon pass through the pain and be able to move forward.
I did discover the TV series The Chosen and have 'binge watched' the first 2 seasons and now wait for the weekly installments of season 3. Somehow the writers and the actors have done a remarkable job of bringing the reality of the Savior and His mission to the forefront. I am grateful to be watching it as I feel more mindful of the Savior.
The holidays passed quietly with a sense of peace and contentment. My children made sure I was not alone on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day and days before and after. I am grateful for my family. They are a huge blessing in my life. I am also grateful for caring friends. It is nice to be remembered and to know that people care about me.
I am still wearing a back brace and am not supposed to bend, twist or lift anything over 10 pounds for 3 months. Doctor also said no laundry, no vacuuming and no loading or unloading the dishwasher for 3 months. It is hard to remember not to pick things up. But I have a 'grabber' which extends my arms a couple of feet and allows me to 'pick things up'. But I still need to ask for help with some of the basics.
Our family had a game night planned at the clubhouse in my neighborhood. But about 1 hour before it was to begin our neighborhood power went out. So we had to cancel our game night. It was a disappointment but all is well. One of my sons immediately drove up to care for me until the power was restored and I realized in all of my organizing I had not prepared for power outages. Now I have some nice little lanterns that he brought. Hopefully I will not have to use them often.
I missed taking a picture of some beautiful snow we had. For a week or more my patio was filled with about 14". It was beautiful and pristine the way it hung on the patio furniture. I miss it now that most is melted. I hope we get more.
It is hard to believe that it has now been 1 1/2 years since Steve died. In many respects it seems like it has been forever not just 18 months. As I have been reading in his journals from the 1980's I have been struck by the many sacrifices he made for me and our family. I am grateful for him and the privilege of our life together. I miss his healing hugs and his soothing foot rubs. He was not a perfect man but he was a good man who loved me, our family and the Lord.
As my life moves forward I find I am much more laid back. I am learning that lower expectations bring less disappointments. Being grateful for many little things strengthens me and eliminates feelings of sadness that I might have experienced in the past if plans did not work out.
There are many plans in place for 2023. I hope I will feel well enough to take the trips and spend time with my family. I hope I can have a clear enough mind to organize my family history materials and write the stories that need to be written. More and more I recognize my own mortality and hope I can fill my remaining time on this earth with experiences that will strengthen my posterity.
May you all be richly blessed in this New Year!
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