I have been home for 3 days and strangely our trip already seems like a dream. But we really did make the trip. I left home June 26 and returned August 10. We travelled by air, train and car. I flew 3300 miles/5310 kilometers from Salt Lake to Toronto and back. Together we drove 5500 km/3400 miles, took the train 1000 km/620 miles, took ferries 750 km/465 miles, flew from Halifax to Toronto 1265 km/785 miles, and walked over 300,000 steps, according to her Fitbit, for 250 km/155 miles. We slept in 20 different beds which were mostly pretty comfortable and had 5 days of rainy weather, a day of fog and enjoyed 38 days of travel together. We enjoyed amazing skyscapes, landscapes and waterscapes in mostly sunny weather. I also spent a few days in Toronto on each end since we did not know what challenges Covid may have presented.
Our trip came about accidentally one day when Sue and I were talking on the phone. Shortly after Steve died had I noticed a facebook post from the railway in Canada advertising a trip across Canada and remember thinking that it would be cool to see Canada that way. When our family immigrated from Denmark in 1951 we travelled by train from Halifax to Kelsey, Alberta where my father would work.
Also, I had an opportunity to take a train trip from Red Deer, Alberta to Portland, Oregon to spend the summer of my 16th year with my grandparents. It was a great trip with meal tickets to the dining car and sleeping berth that the porter made up at night - it was fun and I felt so grown up.
So, I was game to take a railroad trip and when I brought it up to Sue, she thought it sounded good too. But then we realized it was very expensive and that we would be sleeping a lot of the way so discarded the thought. But it was the catalyst for talking about taking a trip together. She had always wanted to go to Newfoundland and see the other Maritime provinces. [We have learned that they are all actually called the Atlantic provinces if Newfoundland is included.]
Soon the idea of taking a trip became a working plan. I rented a car through Costco in July of 2021 just in case because I know that the prices only go up the closer to the departure date. It was a safe bet because I could always cancel without paying anything. Then Sue began her amazing research of all the interesting places we could see. I did not have the emotional band width to plan as it was still hard for me to deal with my new reality of losing Steve. But I could agree with the things she wanted to see and add a few of my own wishes, like seeing Niagara Falls. Our trip morphed into reality as I made our reservations for places to stay and she continued to find interesting things for us to see. I bought my return plane ticket to Toronto allowing a few days on either side of the schedule since we did not know how Covid would be by the time we wanted to travel.
I bought clothes that would be needed like a raincoat, etc. Sue found out about some mosquito and tick repellant pants which we both wanted. I bought hiking shoes and trekking poles anticipating much walking and hiking. And soon an amazing trip was planned complete with reservations.
When I flew to Toronto our trip became a reality. It has been a journey of adventure and self discovery. It has been great to get to know my sister, who is 7 years younger then I am. We have laughed and cried as we have talked about old family memories. I have cried the most as I finally have been able to cry which I could not for such a long time after Steve’s death. Now I find tears come often and not always conveniently. I am grateful for our time and the increased understanding we have gained of each other. I figured spending that much time together 24/7 would either bring us closer together or the opposite. I am happy to say that we did not have harsh words and although a couple of times we were ‘hangry’ that was quickly resolved with food. And she is still planning to come and spend a month with me working on family history.
It has become more of a reality that I am alone, without Steve, and although I still miss him and there are painful moments I find I am OK. I can’t even imagine ever wanting to remarry. I am grateful for the 54 years, 4 months and 19 days I was able to be with Steve. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and the love of my life. I am grateful for our lovely family of 10 children and their families. Our posterity, including in-law children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and bonus grandchildren adds up to 78 people. Who could even have imagined that result when Steve and I married so many years ago. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Plan of Salvation which give me the knowledge that I can be with Steve and my family again in the next life. The Gospel is the foundation of my life.
Our children bring me great happiness and joy. Their consideration and care for me brings me comfort. I am proud of them and their families. But I know that they do have their own lives and I cannot rely on them for my emotional strength. So, I know that I must strike out on my own so to speak. I need to develop my own independent life. I look forward to traveling with my grandchildren. It is my hope and my plan to take each of them on a trip. I love them all so dearly and look forward to additional bonding time. I also look forward to spending time with my children.
My creative juices are beginning to flow again. I look forward to projects I can continue or begin. It has always been my desire to learn to ‘throw a pot’ so I hope I can find a ceramic class to attend. I would like to write a book about my great grandparents and their tragic story. I want to take a writing class to help me with that project. And I want to mat and reframe a lot of family pictures and even print and hang some of my many photos from my various trips over the years.
There are many options and I am grateful. I am also grateful for this time of being away and of having various epiphanies about me and my life. They have not always been comfortable epiphanies but it has been good for me.
When I attended church in Toronto I accidentally ended up in a Spanish speaking ward service. It was good to be there to feel the Spirit and to partake of the Sacrament but I could only understand about every 5th word of what was said. I realized as I was sitting there that my pride has prevented me from learning Spanish. We lived on the Mexican border in Nogales and in Los Fresnos for almost 20 years. I did take a Spanish class in Nogales and learned a little along the way but did not make a real effort to learn. And now I realize how ridiculous it was to avoid learning Spanish just because I felt like it should not be necessary to speak Spanish in this English speaking country. To be fair I was more interested in learning Danish and German because of the family history research I was doing. But nonetheless I avoided learning Spanish and I have had to repent from that. My life could have been so much more enriched. I know I could have served the Lord so much better and been helpful to more people if I had been less prideful and learned Spanish. And it was uncomfortable to be confronted with my own short comings.
I have also had some paradigm shifting as I have continued to meet and observe so many different people. Another of my short comings is being judgmental. Part of this journey of self discovery has been to realize how basically good most people are regardless of how they look or their circumstances. I have lived in my own little bubble for a long time and I have learned that I need to expand my bubble and think differently. Hopefully I can be more repentant in that area as well.
There have been other glimpses of clarity along the way and I hope for a reset in my life. Now I hope that I will have the momentum to move forward in positive ways. But I am tired and it will take me a few days to get back in gear.
Unfortunately I have learned that I have plantar fasciitis in my right foot which is why I struggled so much with my heel hurting. By the time I got to Salt Lake after almost running through the very large Minneapolis airport and still missing my connection [due to a mechanical issue with my earlier plane] my foot was very painful and I could hardly walk. Thankfully I was able to have a wheel chair from my gate to the curbside. I have also learned that it is hard to feel motivated when I am in pain. Hopefully I will be able to get this ailment behind me asap so I can move forward in my life.
Our trip, The Canada East Coast Swing as my sister called it, was totally amazing. We saw so many things that I became almost ‘full up’ with beauty. We met and spoke with so many lovely people. We learned so much and because of our new knowledge we have become slightly different people. We learned new words and phrases like: youse, gets, thanks honey [or my darlin’] etc. I had to buy another suitcase to hold all the things I found at gift shops. I really do enjoy looking in gift shops and it was fun to find cute ear rings for the females of my posterity.
Our expenses actually came in under budget and it was also helpful that the railroad gave us a 25% refund due to the toilets being knocked out after hitting the moose. Delta Airlines also gave me 10,000 air miles to compensate for cancelling my original non-stop flight to Toronto.
The largest portion of our time was spent in Newfoundland which is called ‘the Rock’ because of all the rocks. There are rocks everywhere! And they are awesome. I cannot fully explain all we saw and experiences. The ‘Newfies’ are a warm and hospitable people. They knit and quilt probably a lot over the cold winters. We really did not do justice to the other provinces but what we did see and do was amazing.
Although we had hoped to have seen icebergs they just were not available. We also thought we would see moose and caribou and puffins but we did not. It is sad that our only encounter with a moose was when our train hit a moose. We saw so many signs telling us to beware of moose and to report any incidents. We heard so many stories of moose encounters but we never did see a moose! Everyone we spoke to told us we should feel lucky that we did not have the experience of being charged by a moose.
And now it is up to me. It felt a little empty when I got home and the house seemed so big. It is Sunday today and I am looking forward to getting back to church services in my own ward. I look forward to building new friendships and to spending more time with my family. I am grateful for my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment